Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
God, I missed his penis.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
