Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
