I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
