it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
