I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
