im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
you would pick up someone in the library
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
