We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I lost the right to judge tonight
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
