you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
