Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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