God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
