Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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