I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
