just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
