Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
