he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
