..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
