Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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