you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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