On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
