the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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