This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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