He uses pillows to masturbate.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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