I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
The feeling are messing with the penis
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
