I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Randomize
