it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
no you cant smoke seaweed
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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