I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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