Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Found the puke drawer
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
