do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Everyone says I win the strip club
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
