literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
