i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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