i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
