if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
