omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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