Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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