isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
