Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
