Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I cockslap morals
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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