Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
