you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I am never drinking with the goths again.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
