the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
