How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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