I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
