So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
