she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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