i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
