I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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