Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
We had sex on a dog bed..
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
