I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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