I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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