I think im going to throw up on grandma
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize