Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
